Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
