he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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