Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
