I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
