Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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