Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
