question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
