Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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