i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
