Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
