The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
