yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
