Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
im holly from the hills drunk
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
