So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
