so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
