Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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