You work out of a Hotel?
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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