just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
we should paint friendship bongs
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
