he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
