I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
