If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
