I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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