He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
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