what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
