R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
