Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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