I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Randomize
