I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
