You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
