there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My legs feel like baby dolphins
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
