Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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