If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
