Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
how drunk are you?
Several
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
