weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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