I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Come on in and take your pants off
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