one two three fourrrrnication!
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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