We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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