is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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