If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
