Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
