actually, I'm a sock model
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
