Where did you get a picture of my penis
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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