Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
