What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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