I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
