Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
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