if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
