Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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