I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
