it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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