Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
