id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
