wrigley field is MILF paradise
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
