You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
