Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
