you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
